NUETRALITY

There is nothing like being stuck in neutral. My current situation. I had all these dreams and goals and in one day the can be crushed, reignited and then refuelled only to take another path with a longer duration and an even more intolerable end point. I always thought I had my life together but here I am, 3 months shy of 21 and zero life plan. I spent the whole of today writing pros and cons list of my available so called “life plans”. To be honest none of them seem too exciting, each one has an obstacle that almost seems impossible to overcome and most have a waiting period for when I can conquer it. Not only does this prolong my neutral gear in life it gives me time to over think and over complicate everything resulting in more peril! So far I have come up with 3 options all with a waiting period of at least 2 years.

I wont bore with my options, I will tell you that they all involve the struggle of getting into medicine at a South African university. On another note the incompetence of South African universities communicating abilities and selection bias is for another day.

Currently my plan is to wait it out, I know what you thinking, isn't that just remaining in neutral anyway? my answer :why not stay in neutral for a while it's not as if any of my plans are going anywhere, why fight against the current only to end up more exhausted than before and in an even worse place.

I may or may not be having a cynical day, however like a hippo, I like to wallow in my emotions for a while, test the waters. You never know maybe its a good chance for some self reflection.